It ain't perfect, but it's us ...on our way to Anna's piano recital, May 15, 2008.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Soccer season
Anna's soccer team, the Twanging Snarps (all the 1st grade teams in the league are named after Dr. Seus references), is in full gear. A lot of the kids she knows from our neighborhood, and MaiaLynn is in her Brownie troop. The Snarps have done well, but mostly they just have a lot of heart. Two weeks ago they played a game in yucky, wintery conditions. Tough kids!
Anna and Joey, a fellow Snarp.
Monday, May 12, 2008
May Brownie Meeting
Troop 549 earned two badges at our last meeting -- Girls Sports and My Body. We learned all about proper stretching, exercising and taking our pulse. That was pretty fun since the girls would run around playing freeze tag, stop to take their pulses, and be AMAZED when their pulse number was higher! We also talked about bike safety and the importance of wearing a helmet this summer. This was our last official meeting for the year. Our troop earned 9 badges and had a ton of fun. Way to go, Brownies!
Back row: Alexa, Sophie, Lauren, Rebekah, Megan
Front row: Jamie, Maia, Anna, Kayla
The Brownie helpers, MJ and her friend Sarah, the daughter of my co-leader. They will go to kindergarten together in 2009.
A Visit from some Hoosiers
Aunt Marj, Uncle Bob and Tracy stopped by for a quick hello on their way home to Indiana from a Wisconsin wedding. Thanks for paying us a visit -- it brightened our day!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Mom's Birthday
May 7. My mom would have been 65 years old today.
This past week I've been thinking about what her life would be like, had she beat cancer and been with us still. I know she would be active. Mom was always interested in staying healthy, exercising, eating well. She might have gotten back into jogging, but at the very least she'd be taking her walks on the Kipton trail, maybe with Dad or her friends Joyce or Jan or just alone thinking about her day and her plans. She'd ride her bike, take yoga classes in Oberlin. She'd be into fresh foods and healthy cooking. The farmers markets would be a favorite spot -- maybe she would grow another garden like her and Grandma Born did when Heather and I were small. She'd probably subscribe to Eating Well or one of those magazines and share recipes and ideas with Heather and me. She'd be reading books ... all kinds! When I think about the books I've read lately, I think she would have loved Animal, Vegetable, Mineral and Into the Wild and Eat, Pray, Love. She'd catch all the good movies (and would continue to make lists of both books and movies that she wants to see!). She'd go out to coffee with family and teacher friends. I could see her going back to her school and volunteering. In fact, my guess would be that she'd have people knocking on her door for school advice and consultation in running TAG. After all, she was a master teacher. And of course summers would be all about boating with Dad, spending time in new ports, hiking and biking on various islands and in Michigan and Canada. She'd probably also ramp up her traveling, especially those trips to Maryland and Wisconsin to see her grandkids. Oh, and let's add Indiana in there since she'd probably continue her annual trip to visit her sister Marj, drink lots of coffee and talk into the wee hours. Maybe Marj and Mom would also take some trips together!
I do know that Mom would have LOVED being a grandmother, every part of it. Even when Mom was very sick, and I was pregnant with Anna, she told me, "I think I'm going to buy a pony and cart for the grandkids. They would really have fun with that." I keep looking back to that statement because it's one of the few times mom alluded to being a grandmother. She had been so sick and not very lucid, so she just wasn't able to process the fact that I was pregnant. But that comment came out of nowhere one day when we were at the hospital. She said it so matter of factly as if she were going to beat the cancer and as if the pony and cart were in the cards. And I look back on that and think, what other surprises would mom offer? I know she would do so many enriching things with her granddaughters. Books would be big on the list. But rather than buy a lot of stuff, she would make a concerted effort to just BE with them. I can take clues from when she watched my nieces and nephews when they were small. I'm still in awe of how she spoke to them so respectfully, listened to them and made them feel important and special. I ache thinking about how my kids have missed that. I ache deep down for Heather and Charlotte and me and Anna and Mary Jane. How nice it would have been to have Mom -- comforting and playful and laughing. Mom would have enjoyed unrushed moments with her grandkids as if each one were more precious than the last.
Everything wouldn't have been perfect. She would have mourned the death of her own Mom a year ago. She spent so much time with Grandma. And she might be dealing with lingering problems from cancer or other old-age aches and pains. But I can tell you that she would take it in stride and just plain enjoy her life.
Why would I even sit here and contemplate the impossible -- as I watch a succession of birds from cardinal to chickadee to various sparrows flitter in the tree outside, with a light rain falling on my redbud tree? -- Why would I painfully lay out before me what could have been, the potential of a life so cruelly taken? Well, first because this pain flows through my blood and is a part of me. Seven years after her death, it's not a sharp pain but more a background ache that's always there. I can't deny it. I have to embrace it and use it in contrast to the lovely life I am living and be glad that I can still, with my sorrow, be grateful. But also, as I've tried to recreate a possible present day life for Mom, it's allowed me to realize that -- in a way I can't explain -- her soul and spirit are here. For example, in many ways Heather and I are living out aspects of Mom's healthy, happy lifestyle with our love of cooking and eating good food, yoga, exercise, nature and being outside. Mom's in us. (Sometimes I even look down at my own hands and catch myself thinking of Mom.)
Even with the deep, deep sorrow we feel at the loss of Mom. Even with the sometimes gut-wrenching heartache, the empty feelings, the big hole in our lives ... even with all that, the world is still full of great possibilities! Maybe that's Mom's biggest legacy: that I am able to look out my window and truly feel hopeful. In fact, perhaps -- somewhere down the line -- there's a pony and a cart waiting for us all.
Happy Birthday, Mom. We miss you.
This past week I've been thinking about what her life would be like, had she beat cancer and been with us still. I know she would be active. Mom was always interested in staying healthy, exercising, eating well. She might have gotten back into jogging, but at the very least she'd be taking her walks on the Kipton trail, maybe with Dad or her friends Joyce or Jan or just alone thinking about her day and her plans. She'd ride her bike, take yoga classes in Oberlin. She'd be into fresh foods and healthy cooking. The farmers markets would be a favorite spot -- maybe she would grow another garden like her and Grandma Born did when Heather and I were small. She'd probably subscribe to Eating Well or one of those magazines and share recipes and ideas with Heather and me. She'd be reading books ... all kinds! When I think about the books I've read lately, I think she would have loved Animal, Vegetable, Mineral and Into the Wild and Eat, Pray, Love. She'd catch all the good movies (and would continue to make lists of both books and movies that she wants to see!). She'd go out to coffee with family and teacher friends. I could see her going back to her school and volunteering. In fact, my guess would be that she'd have people knocking on her door for school advice and consultation in running TAG. After all, she was a master teacher. And of course summers would be all about boating with Dad, spending time in new ports, hiking and biking on various islands and in Michigan and Canada. She'd probably also ramp up her traveling, especially those trips to Maryland and Wisconsin to see her grandkids. Oh, and let's add Indiana in there since she'd probably continue her annual trip to visit her sister Marj, drink lots of coffee and talk into the wee hours. Maybe Marj and Mom would also take some trips together!
I do know that Mom would have LOVED being a grandmother, every part of it. Even when Mom was very sick, and I was pregnant with Anna, she told me, "I think I'm going to buy a pony and cart for the grandkids. They would really have fun with that." I keep looking back to that statement because it's one of the few times mom alluded to being a grandmother. She had been so sick and not very lucid, so she just wasn't able to process the fact that I was pregnant. But that comment came out of nowhere one day when we were at the hospital. She said it so matter of factly as if she were going to beat the cancer and as if the pony and cart were in the cards. And I look back on that and think, what other surprises would mom offer? I know she would do so many enriching things with her granddaughters. Books would be big on the list. But rather than buy a lot of stuff, she would make a concerted effort to just BE with them. I can take clues from when she watched my nieces and nephews when they were small. I'm still in awe of how she spoke to them so respectfully, listened to them and made them feel important and special. I ache thinking about how my kids have missed that. I ache deep down for Heather and Charlotte and me and Anna and Mary Jane. How nice it would have been to have Mom -- comforting and playful and laughing. Mom would have enjoyed unrushed moments with her grandkids as if each one were more precious than the last.
Everything wouldn't have been perfect. She would have mourned the death of her own Mom a year ago. She spent so much time with Grandma. And she might be dealing with lingering problems from cancer or other old-age aches and pains. But I can tell you that she would take it in stride and just plain enjoy her life.
Why would I even sit here and contemplate the impossible -- as I watch a succession of birds from cardinal to chickadee to various sparrows flitter in the tree outside, with a light rain falling on my redbud tree? -- Why would I painfully lay out before me what could have been, the potential of a life so cruelly taken? Well, first because this pain flows through my blood and is a part of me. Seven years after her death, it's not a sharp pain but more a background ache that's always there. I can't deny it. I have to embrace it and use it in contrast to the lovely life I am living and be glad that I can still, with my sorrow, be grateful. But also, as I've tried to recreate a possible present day life for Mom, it's allowed me to realize that -- in a way I can't explain -- her soul and spirit are here. For example, in many ways Heather and I are living out aspects of Mom's healthy, happy lifestyle with our love of cooking and eating good food, yoga, exercise, nature and being outside. Mom's in us. (Sometimes I even look down at my own hands and catch myself thinking of Mom.)
Even with the deep, deep sorrow we feel at the loss of Mom. Even with the sometimes gut-wrenching heartache, the empty feelings, the big hole in our lives ... even with all that, the world is still full of great possibilities! Maybe that's Mom's biggest legacy: that I am able to look out my window and truly feel hopeful. In fact, perhaps -- somewhere down the line -- there's a pony and a cart waiting for us all.
Happy Birthday, Mom. We miss you.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Grandma Peg's
Out in rural Stoughton, Wisconsin, there's an oasis on a hilltop overlooking pristine fields and a pond where the Koch family resides. Carina and Shelley were sweet to take us with them to their Grandma and Grandpa's acreage. We had a delicious homemade lunch. The apple cake was even made with apples from their 40 acres! We took a ride on the ranger (a MULE, basically a big ATV), sat on a cool tractor, checked out various garden sites on the land, dressed up in frilly antique clothes and hats and just felt very welcome. It made me want to set a goal of getting a place in the country down the road sometime. Thanks, Grandma Peg, Shelley and Carina!
On top of the world with my friend.
Two ladies who lunch.
Checkin' out the tractor.
A farmer's work is never done ...
On top of the world with my friend.
Two ladies who lunch.
Checkin' out the tractor.
A farmer's work is never done ... Lambing Season
MJ and I ventured to a A-Z farm in Oregon, Wisconsin with MOMS Club -- http://www.a-zfarm.com/. If you've ever wondered what it would sound like to have 179 baaaing (actually, it sounded more like maaaing to us) lambs in one barn, we can tell you. It sounded like Spring! Black and white, leaping and nursing (sometimes at the same time), these fellows epitomized rebirth and rejuvenation this time of year. MJ loved learning about sheep as well as turkeys, chickens, pigs, ducks and a fuzzy white horse that was losing his winter coat.
Since I love being on farms, I had just as much fun. Visiting A-Z got me psyched for my new job with the University of Wisconsin Discovery Farms -- http://www.uwdiscoveryfarms.org/. As communications director I'll get to meet with farmers and visit different kinds of farms around the state. Plus, it's part-time and I can work from home. Perfect. You can take the girl from the country but you can't take the country from the girl.
Since I love being on farms, I had just as much fun. Visiting A-Z got me psyched for my new job with the University of Wisconsin Discovery Farms -- http://www.uwdiscoveryfarms.org/. As communications director I'll get to meet with farmers and visit different kinds of farms around the state. Plus, it's part-time and I can work from home. Perfect. You can take the girl from the country but you can't take the country from the girl.
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